You know that feeling you get when you meet someone for the first time, that feeling of connection; a sense that you may have met them before but you know you haven’t.  You feel very comfortable in their presence which fills you with excitement. It could be physical attraction, chemistry or soul recognition. On the other hand it could be that very subtle shared trauma bond.

Shared trauma bond happens very subconsciously, so much so that you don’t always realise what and why you feel so at ease with this person. This explains why. When you have experienced a particular trauma or a similar upbringing which you haven’t yet healed from, you are holding onto that energy. Your aura will emit that trauma energy; as such you attract people of a similar ilk.

I remember before I healed from my experience of sexual abuse I instantly connected with women who had also gone through something similar, not knowing until perhaps later down the line. It was easy to become friends with these women, eventually those friendships didn’t last because as I healed from those wounds my energy changed and we no longer had that trauma bond connection.  My values and behaviours changed from the healing process.

Likewise with attracting a romantic partner, you may feel an instant connection; be aware of what this connection is really all about, especially if you have not yet healed from your early traumas.  The law of attraction is very real, similar experiences will attract just like a magnet. If you grew up in an alcoholic household you are more likely to click with someone who also grew up in an alcoholic household. It’s what you subconsciously felt comfortable around. What I mean when I say this is, it’s familiar surroundings, you adapt in that type of household, it’s what you know; even though it’s dysfunctional you are comfortable around it.

Similarly a narcissist and an empath can also feel a strong attraction simply due to the fact that their upbringing may have been quite dysfunctional in similar ways. The way each one has evolved is undoubtedly extremely different, polar opposite somewhat like the positive and negative of a magnet.  This attraction is not healthy, it is a trauma bond and it is doomed.

Remember, you are energy, everything is energy. Traumas carry a certain vibration which will hang around in your auric field unless you do something about it. If you’re wondering why you attract a certain type of relationship, be it friends or romantic partners that always end up toxic, ask yourself what early traumas am I not healing from? If you’re not aware of any traumas then reflect upon your childhood and just consider was it functional or dysfunctional in any kind of way. Many people believe their childhood was great, yet when they reflect deeply they realise that there was some elements of dysfunction where certain essential needs were not met. This results in lack and wherever there is lack, there is neediness in some way, shape or form. Doing your inner work; your shadow work, is the best way to avoid getting involved with people that results in a toxic relationship. That instant compatibility is deception, so do not be fooled. By going on a healing journey and doing the work you clear your energy field and attract the type of people that enhance your life and only want your highest good.  People enter into your life for a reason or a lesson, if you are not receiving the lessons you will keep going back to the same experiences instead of moving onwards.

If you found this article helpful, please share with the people you care about. If this resonates with you and you need help in identifying your dysfunctions, traumas and relationship issues, why not get in contact for a free telephone consultation. You can do this via this website using the chord cutting link on the home page.


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