Trauma Bond vs Compatibility

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You know that feeling you get when you meet someone for the first time, that feeling of connection; a sense that you may have met them before but you know you haven’t.  You feel very comfortable in their presence which fills you with excitement. It could be physical attraction, chemistry or soul recognition. On the other hand it could be that very subtle shared trauma bond.

Shared trauma bond happens very subconsciously, so much so that you don’t always realise what and why you feel so at ease with this person. This explains why. When you have experienced a particular trauma or a similar upbringing which you haven’t yet healed from, you are holding onto that energy. Your aura will emit that trauma energy; as such you attract people of a similar ilk.

I remember before I healed from my experience of sexual abuse I instantly connected with women who had also gone through something similar, not knowing until perhaps later down the line. It was easy to become friends with these women, eventually those friendships didn’t last because as I healed from those wounds my energy changed and we no longer had that trauma bond connection.  My values and behaviours changed from the healing process.

Likewise with attracting a romantic partner, you may feel an instant connection; be aware of what this connection is really all about, especially if you have not yet healed from your early traumas.  The law of attraction is very real, similar experiences will attract just like a magnet. If you grew up in an alcoholic household you are more likely to click with someone who also grew up in an alcoholic household. It’s what you subconsciously felt comfortable around. What I mean when I say this is, it’s familiar surroundings, you adapt in that type of household, it’s what you know; even though it’s dysfunctional you are comfortable around it.

Similarly a narcissist and an empath can also feel a strong attraction simply due to the fact that their upbringing may have been quite dysfunctional in similar ways. The way each one has evolved is undoubtedly extremely different, polar opposite somewhat like the positive and negative of a magnet.  This attraction is not healthy, it is a trauma bond and it is doomed.

Remember, you are energy, everything is energy. Traumas carry a certain vibration which will hang around in your auric field unless you do something about it. If you’re wondering why you attract a certain type of relationship, be it friends or romantic partners that always end up toxic, ask yourself what early traumas am I not healing from? If you’re not aware of any traumas then reflect upon your childhood and just consider was it functional or dysfunctional in any kind of way. Many people believe their childhood was great, yet when they reflect deeply they realise that there was some elements of dysfunction where certain essential needs were not met. This results in lack and wherever there is lack, there is neediness in some way, shape or form. Doing your inner work; your shadow work, is the best way to avoid getting involved with people that results in a toxic relationship. That instant compatibility is deception, so do not be fooled. By going on a healing journey and doing the work you clear your energy field and attract the type of people that enhance your life and only want your highest good.  People enter into your life for a reason or a lesson, if you are not receiving the lessons you will keep going back to the same experiences instead of moving onwards.

If you found this article helpful, please share with the people you care about. If this resonates with you and you need help in identifying your dysfunctions, traumas and relationship issues, why not get in contact for a free telephone consultation. You can do this via this website using the chord cutting link on the home page.

Having Healthy Boundaries

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Many people are waking up to the fact that having healthy boundaries are ever so important.  Being taught how to have healthy boundaries growing up may not have been the case for you.  Your parents or caregivers may not have known what healthy boundaries looked like themselves.  Some of you may have experienced your boundaries being completely broken by experiencing abuse, in particular sexual abuse.

If in your early years you were a victim of broken boundaries, you may have been going through your life without realising that people were crossing your boundaries left, right and centre.  You may have experienced verbal, physical and even sexual abuse all over again.  People not showing you respect.  You are probably at a point in your life now where you feel enough is enough.

If you have grown up in a somewhat dysfunction family you may have developed co-dependency and carried this people-pleasing trait around with you for years.  This is not easy to unlearn but it can be done.   The key to this is working on yourself, not focusing on others and how they treat you, but becoming aware of what it is you are allowing.  Taking ownership for oneself and your healing journey is paramount.  This is very much about the energy you are emitting and the law of attraction.  It is also about the earth bound lessons that you have come to experience and how you grow through those lessons.

There is a lot of talk in the air now around this very topic; saying no and putting yourself first.  This may feel very uncomfortable at first, but like any new muscle you have to keep working at it until it becomes effortless. No is a very powerful word, use it.  When you use this word you do not need to give any reasons or justifications, you may be tempted to, try not to.  You probably will at first because it will feel very uncomfortable but do not beat yourself up about it.  The aim is to get to the point where you feel completely comfortable with setting healthy boundaries, at ease with letting other people down, no guilt around honoring yourself and your needs first.

Most were not taught about self-love, some people feel that it is selfish.  Well maybe it is time to be selfish for once in your life.  You cannot keep giving to others if you haven’t given to yourself.  What is the quality of what you are giving when you can’t even serve your own needs? Your cup has to be overfilled with love for yourself in order to be able to give quality love to others, healthy love with healthy boundaries.

The self-love revolution is here, let’s not underestimate how crucial this is, let us not dilute it or allow it to become a throw away phrase.  It is vitally important that we learn to love ourselves at a deep core level.  This is about remembering who you are at the core; as you navigate through this life, you would have forgotten your true essence due to the bombardment of negative messages from society, family, so-called friends, employers etc.  It is your time now to remember who you are and shine your wonderful light for all to see.

Physical Symptoms of the Ascension Process

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The awakening and ascension process is filled with many different experiences.  As you go through this process you may worry that you are going crazy, but fear not; everything is as it should be.  In this blog I will talk about the physical symptoms that you may be experiencing throughout this process. You are changing in frequency and our fourth density is evolving into existence.  Your vibration is rising energetically and your body is trying to cope with this change. Negative energy is coming out of your mind body and spirit, even thoughts.  As you are ascending you are literally rejecting the third density body.

As your 3rd density body is moving towards a new dimension; your 4th density body is going through an upgrade on a cellular level, as such you will go through a purging process. Below are 7 physical symptoms and how you can manage them at this time. Your 4th density body is being activated but you will still need to take care of your 3rd density body.

You may experience a lot of itching and skin rashes – the negative energies that you have collected throughout this lifetime are finding their way out and may cause skin irritation. Treat these irritations as you normally would.  Try keeping your skin cool and wear appropriate clothing to allow your skin to breath.  Use more natural products on your body.

You will definitely experience insomnia – the subconscious mind will be trying to heal itself and deal with your issues whilst you try to sleep. The subconscious will bring things up if you are not doing all of your shadow work.  Additionally you will be more receptive to spirit and the messages they are trying to give you.  At night this is an ideal time because you are more accessible to them.  In addition, your body is also realigning to a new body clock.  Your consciousness could also be in other dimensions, i.e. your 3d body is trying to sleep but your 4d body is busy travelling and upgrading.

You may experience hot flushes – this will be because the molecules in your body are realigning themselves; they are moving around faster due to this new higher vibration.  Try not to feel too anxious about this as this will create even more hot flushes.  Meditate more so as to help you keep calm.  Cool yourself down, with cool showers or baths.

You may contract viruses and infections – your immune system is receiving an upgrade. many people get colds and all sorts of infections. Do not worry; this is your body expelling all the rubbish in order to be better balanced within its new 4D state.  This is a time for you to get plenty of rest, eat healthily, drink lots of fluid to allow what needs to exit your body and allow the process to take place as smoothly as possible.  Avoid alcohol and processed food.

Dizziness is another common symptom – this could be due to anxiety. But also you may be phasing in and out of this reality and non-ordinary reality, you are moving into different consciousness and these subtle breaks in consciousness will make you feel dizzy. Try to stay as grounded as possible.  Do grounding exercises and be more mindful of your surroundings.

You will start to look more radiant, as you r vibration rises you will feel a lot better. Your inner light will start to shine more.  You are regenerating and you will feel lighter, you will start to feel healthier and be more prone to eat healthier, exercise and look after yourself more.  As such you will feel more positive emotions hence less stress.  Your energy is flowing at a better rate.  Your chakras will open up, in particular your heart chakra; this will allow you to feel more love of self and others.

Your ears may ring – the fluid in your ear drums is changing and you may feel somewhat off balance at times.  You could experience a gushing noise, a ringing noise or something like a radio signal.  You are vibrating at a different frequency and this will affect your ears in this way.

So in conclusion, make sure you continue to look after your 3D body by staying grounded in 3.  Take walks, be in nature, exercise especially yoga, eat healthily, stay hydrated but drinking lots of water, establish a daily meditation routine.  These physical symptoms will not last, however they may return as you go through different stages of your ascension process.  Do not get disheartened by the physical symptoms, the end results far outweigh them.

Namaste Beautiful Soul

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

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As a spiritual guidance coach/counselor I pride myself in living a life where I practise what I preach, although I am not perfect. I try not to beat myself up when I fall short because there are times that living or being in the human body has its limitations and imperfections. However I NEVER forget that I am a spiritual being living a human existence. As a spiritual being I am powerful, I am amazing, I am divine, I am limitless, I am love, I am abundance, I am all that I want to be, and so are YOU. Why not make these statements your daily affirmations until you really start to feel and believe them to be true.

Sometimes when we go on our journey of healing we go to many seminars, read self-help books and really enjoy what we are hearing and digesting. However, a little while after we may end up back in some of our negative ways of being and living. The reason for this could be that we have digested the information on an intellectual level, we understand it and we agree with it but oftentimes we don’t get it on an emotional level. What I mean is you may understand and agree that you went through some kind of trauma or very challenging situation and recognise how it’s contributed to the way you are today and some of the decisions you have made, but have you dealt with it on an emotional level? When you talk about the said event or situation are you filled with lots of negative emotion? Do you still feel angry, and if you do what else is behind the anger? It could be pain, sadness, shame or even guilt. If you are still feeling strong negative emotions, then unfortunately healing is still yet to take place on an emotional level and maybe even on a psychological level. Some of us are still suffering on an emotional level and hence your emotional intelligence could still be that of a young child. When I entered into rehab as a 38 year old woman, I was informed that my emotional age was that of a 6 year old. I was horrified and realised that I had so much work to do to bring my emotional age up to my biological age.

My message to you is don’t be hard on yourself, give yourself a break, treat yourself with unconditional love, know that you are worthy of help, healing and love. Learning to re-parent yourself is of the utmost importance, this is part of self-love and self-care. Showing yourself much compassion, forgiveness, patience and love as you would a child is what is needed. As you go through this process of healing you will increase your emotional intelligence, you will foster a healthier relationship with yourself and ultimately be able to have healthier relationships with others. As the law of attraction states, you are what you attract. Trust that you are where you are meant to be right now and that you will heal on a deep level when your time is right. If your time is now, then please let’s talk. They say it’s good to talk, and in my experience that is an understatement, it’s more than good, it’s necessary.

Gratitude

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I often get my clients to do a gratitude list when they struggle to see what is good in their lives. I remember the time some years ago when I was feeling so miserable with my lot in life and I was advised to start doing a gratitude list every night. I grumbled and thought ‘what’s the point of that, it’s not going to change anything’. However, I felt I had nothing to lose and set about doing my gratitude list. Each night I wrote in my daily journal listing the things I was grateful for in my life, sometimes even repeating the same things. After a couple of weeks something changed, it was amazing. I started to complain a lot less and I began to appreciate life, I became contented. Nothing outside of me really changed, but inside of me did.

That’s the key, inside of me changed. You see, when you find inner contentment and peace your outlook changes. You see the world with new eyes and you thus create a different reality for yourself and that’s a powerful thing. I became more positive and guess what? I started to attract the very things I felt I didn’t have in my life prior to doing the gratitude list. Gratitude is a very powerful virtue to have; in fact, it is the mother of all virtues. This is something I get my clients to do in order to help them see things from a different perspective and realise that the simple things in life, like the smell of a flower, the moon shining at night, a hug from a loved one, a smile from a stranger, are so very special. These things keep us focussed on the present moment and encourage us to appreciate life in all its glory.

So today, why not start your gratitude list and see how it makes a difference in your life. List a minimum of five things each day of the things you are grateful for, shift your focus and see what happens. Let me know how you get on. Love and light to you my beautiful souls.

Is there a link between psychosis and spirituality?

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As a holistic practitioner I often found myself deliberating about the above question and believe that there is a link between the two.  I have witnessed people having a spiritual emergency who have then been labelled as having a mental illness.  If not handled properly, delicately and holistically it can develop into an illness such as schizophrenia.

So what is the answer? Psychosis can be described as being in an altered state where you are connecting into the spiritual realm; you may hear voices, see visions and connect with powerful beings which can freak you out.  Your Kundalini energy may start to rise which can often become a spiritual emergency if it happens too quickly and abruptly, often by the use of drugs, sleep deprivation and other factors.  Anyone exhibiting these signs needs urgent assistance.  Seeking counsel from a spiritual healer or counsellor will make a huge amount of difference whereby you can be delicately guided on how you manage with these new awakenings.  Hearing voices and seeing visions simply means you are an intuitive, clairvoyant, psychic whichever word suits; it does not necessarily mean you have a mental illness.  You will need to cleanse your aura so that the voices you hear and your connection to spirit are the positive ones giving you loving and positive messages.  If this is not done, then you are likely to attract the negative entities that do the complete opposite which eventually can turn into schizophrenia.

Not only will your aura need cleansing but you will need guidance on how to use and manage your spiritual gifts. Having these gifts is an honor and it should be treated with respect and only used for the greater good of yourself and others, working in/with the light.  When I first opened up fully to the spirit world I experienced many spiritual phenomena that could have quite easily freaked me out, however, I had spiritual counsellors and I read many books on the subject to gently break me in which enabled me to fully embrace my gifts.  These gifts are not to be feared; unfortunately this is the case in many societies and a label gets attached and eventually treated with medication.  Do not forget that we are spiritual beings living a human existence; as such we are connected to the spirit realm.  The angels, our ancestors, our spirit guides are all available to us; they want to help, guide, protect and support us in our journeys here on planet earth.  Having such gifts and using them in the correct way will lead to transcendental experiences, further transformation and spiritual enlightenment.

For more information:

Psychosis and Spirituality Second Edition Paperback – 28 Sep 2010 – by Isabel Clarke (Editor)

“ The new edition of this successful text builds on the very latest research to present an original and unique exploration of the psychology of both spirituality and psychosis. The editor brings together fascinating perspectives from a broad range of distinguished contributors.

This new edition covers the most recent body of research, both qualitative and quantitative, in its exploration of the interface between psychosis and spirituality, and investigation into anomalous experiences. Ten new chapters added and the remaining text completely updated.  New to this edition is an expanded clinical section, relevant to clinicians working with psychosis.  Offers a fundamental rethink of the concept of psychosis, and proposes new insights into spirituality”

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Psychosis-Spirituality-Second-Isabel-Clarke/dp/0470683473/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1456734447&sr=8-1&keywords=psychosis+and+spirituality

Article in Psychology Today

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201507/is-it-psychosis-or-spiritual-emergency

International Suicide Awareness Day

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Today is international suicide awareness day. So I thought I would share on here a little bit about my experience, even though it is in my book Hungry for Love, if you want a signed copy, why not order it here.

Suicide affects many people and it is a growing concern, especially amongst young men. It does affect loved ones, leaving them feeling guilty and utterly distraught.

I survived two suicide attempts, and as I write this, I feel so much compassion for the woman that I once was. I was so deeply unhappy, lost, and fearful of life, love and people. Pretending as much as I could that I was ok, when in reality inside I felt so so empty. Those feelings made me think that I was helpless and unworthy.

It’s hard to accept that someone has ended their life, and sometimes we may judge them for it. But I say this, those that do end their life truly feel there is absolutely no hope, no point in continuing.

Luckily, I survived, it wasnt my time to go. I have done a 360° turn with all the inner work that I have done and continue to do. Finding and living my soul’s purpose.

I share this post in the hope that we connect more on a personal level with our loved ones and even strangers. Take time with each other, show compassion, because you just never know if someone is suffering in silence. We are all connected, no man/woman is an island. The interconnectedness of human beings is a beautiful thing that we must keep alive and authentic.

Reach out to others, smile more, pick up the phone, pay a visit, like how we use to before social media. You may just save a precious life.

Our times are serious right now, this global shift and ascension is proving difficult for some; so let’s continue to be our sister’s/brother’s keeper, because at the end of the day, we are one.

Letting Go Of Toxic Relationships.

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Do you often struggle to leave a toxic relationship? Or even if you have left, you find yourself being drawn back in somehow and you wonder how that happened? This could be a friendship, situationship, family members or romantic partner.

You know this relationship is not good for you on some level, especially emotionally, yet you return. When you do return nothing really changes, just a repetition of the same old cycles.

This is time for a chord cutting. The reason why you return could be that as my mother would say “you ears hard”, “those who can’t hear will feel”; in essence, you just haven’t learned your karmic lesson yet. Or you are still connected energetically, and this could be because the other person is still holding on. If this is the case a chord cutting exercise is necessary.

Your energy centre is still connected to theirs and once you are able to cut this energetic chord it will be easier to let go of this relationship that no longer serves you.

How to do a chord cutting?

You can find a guided meditation on YouTube that’s talks you through the process. Or if you are comfortable doing it solo, just get yourself into a meditative state. Imagine this person in front of you. See and feel the energy chords attached to each other from your centre, solar plexus. Imagine you have a pair of large golden scissors and with strong emotional intent cut the energetic chord that runs between the two of you.

Then bless them with whatever it is you need to say. Thank them for the lessons they brought to you, the children they gave you, or whatever the circumstances between the two of you.

Hold them in loving kindness and wish them well as they embark on their individual path. See them float away from you in love, and let them go.

Then replace that space with loving energy, allow your solar plexus to be filled up with bright yellow energy, imagine, your solar plexus spinning around as it absorbs this energy. Sit for a while and glean any messages that may come to you. When you are ready, close down your solar plexus and come back into full waking consciousness.

I hope this helps you to break free from old relationships that no longer serve you.

Namastu

The lunar eclipse is bringing in fresh energy

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The lunar eclipse is bringing in fresh energy, like drinking fresh clean spring water, clearing and cleansing us from all the old habits and beliefs about ourselves. The energy will guide us to change our stories that we repeatedly recite about ourselves, stories that no longer resonate with our soul.

This is now the time to align yourself to your soul purpose, be ready to pick up your baton and run with it. Your guides ask you to have faith in all that is happening around you, even if it feels uncomfortable, weird and scary, just trust that your highest good will be served. Imagine the hands of a living parent cupped around your face showing you unconditional love and feel this love ignite your soul as you are guided and supported along your chosen path.

You are being called to live in love, to personify your true essence of love. Let go, release and trust is what your guides are asking you to do. Portals of light energy are opening up to help raise the vibration of mama earth and those of us living on her. This is a sacred time, the benevolent beings are busy ushering in light rays for us to seek the light within us and shine it out in this world. Be a part of the love revolution. Downloaded message from the Reincarnation of the Divine Luminous Souls.

NEW MOON SOLAR ECLIPSE 2ND JULY 2019

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So I have just facilitated my second healing meditation workshop which was fantastic, by the way. It focussed on honouring your divinity; this was also aligned with a new moon meditation which reaches us on the 2nd July 2019. This new moon is also in line with a solar eclipse.

This energy is bringing in a ‘shake it up’ type of energy, a time for us to shake things a little and step up to opportunities. It feels like we need to get that rug from underneath our feet, shake it out and get rid of stagnant energy that is floating around in our lives.

It is a time to really step up with self-care activities, time to nurture yourself on all levels, physical, spiritual, emotional and psychological. Giving yourself what you need in order to navigate through this tumultuous time.

How are you with boundaries? Do you lack them? Well if so, start getting into the practise of setting firm boundaries for yourself, put yourself first, look after yourself and your needs, and make this a priority. When you do this you garner more respect and are more able to be there for others if so choose; our needs count just as much as anyone else’s. Learn to say NO without any apology, explanation or justification.

Once you start this process you will see how you have created more space for opportunities and positivity to enter into your life. Is there a project you have been putting off (although with mercury entering retrograde on the 7th July, this is not a good time to start a new project). However, the project of self-love is one such project that deserves your urgent attention.

As spiritual beings having a human experience we must remember to nurture and feed our soul, when we neglect this part of us, we turn to self-destructive habits that do not serve our highest good. Our souls are crying out for attention, how can we continue to neglect our souls, especially at this crucial time when we are ascending into higher dimensional living? Honouring our divine self is absolutely vital. Tap into your divine self, respect and honour that part of you and you will be greatly rewarded. A feeling of contentment, purpose and fulfilment is yours for the taking, but you have to take it, grab it with both hands. Walking around aimlessly and lost is soul destroying and depressing. You have a choice, choose wisely.

My next meditation will focus on healing the inner child and letting go of fear. Why not join me for another powerful healing experience as we delve into the dark spaces of our psyche and heal some of those wounds, let go of debilitating fear, allowing us to propel forwards in confidence, love and light.